"I'm not your personal slave"

The position of Family Slave is open. (Back of the net!)

"Eat your crusts, it will make your hair curl"

Curly hair is caused by the shape of the cross section of the hair. Flatter hair goes curly. Eating crusts will not affect the way that the follicles produce hair.

"Why can't you be more like your brother/sister?"

Do you realise how much psychological damage you've done to me by comparing me with my brother/sister? This will affect me for the rest of my life and it's all your fault.

"Stop crying, or I'll give you something to cry about"

You know what, I obviously think what I'm crying about is worth crying about, even though you may not think that. Crying is a healthy release of emotion. If you hit me then I'll cry more which is a stupid thing for you to do.

"If (someone else) did (something terrible) would you do it too?"

No, of course I wouldn't do something as stupid as that. But what (someone else) and I did wasn't stupid like that. Also, do you understand how much of an influence peer pressure has on people my age?

"Because I said so, that's why"

If that's your only reason, then either a) you can't be bothered to think it through, and you really ought to do that or b) there is another reason and you're not telling me. Which? and why really?

"Of course I don't have a favourite child"

Of course you could never admit you have one, but I bet it's not me at the moment.